Hatred and grief of betrayal

I've been living until now, hoping for help from others. I lost my own family 5 years ago, and I have been living on my own since then. Without the help of my so called trustworthy friends, I manage to achieve a dream someone like me would forget about a long time ago. I furthered my studies, which I regret on this very moment. How would I know that my trust would be betrayed? All these years, I thought they were sincere in helping me, a hopeless person. Until recently I knew, I was betrayed... They accuse me of not being able to live on my own strength, in the same time saying I'm useless. All that they say, all those accusation, is as if I'm a stupid, hopeless beggar. I couldn't take anymore humiliation to myself, it's as if I was losing myself. I know I'm a poor person, hopelessly without any family to support my life, but I hate it the most when people take me as if I'm a beggar!!!!! What should I say more... Things like this happen... All this brings my head back to where I had doubts in furthering my studies. Back then, I already knew I couldn't make it through but I selfishly took the consequences and followed my hard-headed arrogant mind. Now, it clearly has backfired myself and it's already too late for regret. To take responsibility of my own acts, I have to make a choice between my dream and to live, but how could I still selfishly go for my dream when my life is at stake. It narrows my options, and I have to be able to accept my own fate. The consequences has shown that I need to take an action that I never really wanted on doing, postponing my dream, my studies. I have to leave my dream, for the sake of living. It's not what I really want, but not everyone is so fortunate in this world. There's nobody else for me to look to anymore for help. I already lost my last only option. I have to prove to them that I can live on my own, despite that I have to take it the long way of complete hardship. I rather do all this, than to be further humiliated by the one's I once trusted. Even a "beggar", has it's own pride as human being. All I hope now is that my decision is what is best for me for this time being and it wont backfire me again.